Why do so many weddings have a ‘no photos’ rule?

The first time I attended a friend's wedding was in spring 2007, a month and a half before the first iPhone went on sale. I was still in college at the time, and I remember being blown away by how few concessions the DJ made to the older relatives in attendance; the first dance was to a Neutral Milk Hotel song (wouldn't have been my choice, but it was a memorable one). But I have no record of that first dance, just an increasingly hazy memory. In fact, I have very few photos from the event - maybe one or two that someone tagged me in on Facebook.

Since then, chronicling a wedding from every angle has become not just something professionals do, but guests as well. We all have the capacity to capture every moment, and often through clever, but not quite-as-clever-as-you-think wedding hashtags (I include my own in this indictment), we are willingly deputized as photographers.

I came of age in the unreliable disposable camera era, so I am thrilled to be guaranteed decent snapshots of special events. This isn't about social media (although sometimes it's about social media; I don't wear a suit that often, and I enjoy reminding the friends who weren't there in person that I occasionally do look nice). I love to scroll through my photo albums on long flights or while waiting in line. There's a beautiful intimacy to making a friend pause for a picture with you at the end of the night - no matter how imperfect the lighting - and texting it to them the next morning. It's like a thank you note for the gift of their friendship.

Given the purity of these small pleasures, why would you not let your loved ones take pictures during one of the happiest days of your life?

Last year, I went to two weddings. Both featured a similar request: guests were to refrain from taking pictures throughout the ceremony, which would be documented exclusively by a professional photographer. The officiants asked us to remain "in the moment" rather than worry about getting the perfect photo.

One of these weddings was for my friends Ethan and Willa. They told me that reclaiming the guests' attention during their wedding weekend was a stand against the constant creep of devices into our hands and eyes and schedules. They also mentioned that they had given up smartphone use in their day-to-day lives, which made going without my device for an hour feel like less of a sacrifice.

The parameters felt sensible, and not especially onerous. I've since learned that a no-photos request has become fairly common. The New Jersey-based photographer Meghan LaRosa (who, full disclosure, professionally photographed my wedding) says she sees it "more often than not" these days, and she's a fan; in addition to keeping guests mentally present, it makes her work easier, giving her a clear shot at capturing the guests' joy as well as that of the happy couple. "I'll be seeing their actual faces and not their phones," she says.