Australia tighten grip on Ashes as England top order crumbles at MCG

The debrief in Adelaide was meant to represent a fresh start for England but was instead followed by pants being pulled down in Melbourne. Their batting on Boxing Day was so utterly dysfunctional that even the script writers for EastEnders might have deemed the storyline a bit too depressing for their annual dose of festive humbug.

Joe Root had claimed before this must-win third Ashes Test against Australia that a response was incoming from the tourists. Chris Silverwood, the usually mild-mannered head coach, had locked the dressing-room door in response to going 2-0 down a week ago, stuck their dismissals up on the TV screen and dispensed what is known colloquially in these parts as a bake.

Australia, by contrast, enjoyed their latest day of domination without truly breaking sweat. Pat Cummins had returned from his Covid-related absence in Adelaide and set the tone with three wickets in the morning, with a support cast that included a debutant in Scott Boland simply enjoying the slipstream. When the hosts reached stumps on 61 for one, the opener David Warner having been removed by Jimmy Anderson late on, Ashes retention had nudged closer. Their only concern was Marcus Harris suffering a late finger injury.

By this stage a largely sated crowd of 57,100 had thinned out considerably. Hesitancy during a pandemic was one contributing factor to a slightly disappointing turnout by MCG standards; so too the lack of travelling England supporters, who can number up to 20,000 at this time of year. There was also a nagging suspicion, however, that the absence of a contest so far in the series contributed to the number of Melburnians who sought alternative arrangements.

Then came the nadir, Buttler unable to resist a yahoo off Lyon in the final over of the session and Boland gobbling it up in the deep. After showing such resolve during a 207-ball rearguard in Adelaide, and having by all accounts been such a prominent voice during the postmortem that followed, it was a quite inexplicable option for the 31-year-old to take 11 balls into his innings and with the safety of the tea break in sight.