‘I’ve been called a witch, slut, murderer’: the ultra-creative women dismissed as rock star girlfriends

In a 2008 interview, Anita Pallenberg swore she would never write her autobiography. The artist, model and actor was weary of publishers who only wanted to read about her intimate dealings with the Rolling Stones - she dated both Brian Jones and Keith Richards, and had an affair with Mick Jagger. "They all wanted salacious," she said then. "And everybody is writing autobiographies and that's one reason why I'm not going to do it."

Yet when Pallenberg died in 2017, she left behind pages of a neatly typed manuscript, titled Black Magic, that contained her life story. True to form, she characterised these memoirs as "memory images, a traveller's tale through a landscape of dreams and shadows" rather than an autobiography. But she held little back while chronicling her spirited and frequently tumultuous life, quipping: "I don't think the lawyers will like it very much."

Read in a narration by Scarlett Johansson, her unpublished words are the backbone of a compelling new documentary, Catching Fire: The Story of Anita Pallenberg. Kate Moss celebrates her as "the original bohemian rock chick that people still aspire to today" but more valuable is Pallenberg reframing her legacy on her own terms from beyond the grave. "I've been called a witch, a slut, a murderer. I've been hounded by the police and slandered in the press," she wrote, before adding, "But I don't need to settle scores. I'm reclaiming my soul."

Given how much ink has been spilt on the Stones over the years, it's refreshing to hear Pallenberg share her own perspective on her experiences. She's not the only high-profile rock girlfriend now getting a chance to tell their own story, asserting their place in, and influence on, male-dominated music culture.

Suzi Ronson, who was married to the guitarist Mick Ronson, just released a candid memoir, Me and Mr Jones: My Life with David Bowie and the Spiders from Mars, that's a clear-eyed look at rock star mythology. Pattie Boyd, married to both George Harrison and Eric Clapton, was interviewed in 2018 by Taylor Swift for Harper's Bazaar ("George and Eric had an inability to communicate their feelings through normal conversation," Boyd said, "I became a reflection for them") and this year she eloquently reminisced as she auctioned her memorabilia, including love letters from Clapton and handwritten Harrison lyrics, for a staggering £2,818,184. "The letters from Eric - they're so desperate and passionate, a passion that blooms once in a lifetime," she said. "They're too painful in their beauty."

Tate Modern, in London, is meanwhile celebrating Yoko Ono with a career-spanning exhibition, Yoko Ono: Music of the Mind - a pointed reminder that Ono's artistic collaboration with John Lennon was only a relatively brief part of her career. It shows how her artistry spans theatre, writing and music, but also how it makes space for her story to change over time - for example, the various performances of Cut Piece across the decades - and for others' perspectives. Take Ono's 1964 artist's book Grapefruit, which uses short, abstract action items ("Imagine the clouds dripping. Dig a hole in your garden to put it in") to generate a huge potential variety of creative responses.

Among those was Lennon's Imagine. In a 1980 BBC interview, Lennon said Grapefruit provided "the lyric and the concept" of the song, but Ono didn't receive a songwriting credit until 2017 even though Lennon was aware of the oversight in his lifetime. "But those days I was a bit more selfish, a bit more macho," he told the BBC, "and I sort of omitted to mention her contribution."

Pallenberg, too, served as inspiration for Rolling Stones songs such as Gimme Shelter. But Catching Fire reinforces the idea that even if sexism meant she was underestimated by the public, she wasn't a passive presence or muse. "Neither Anita nor I wanted to be with them because we wanted some of their power," Marianne Faithfull says in voiceover - she was in the band's orbit alongside Pallenberg owing to a relationship with Jagger. "We had our own power."

Faithfull's power was her own music career; Pallenberg, who spoke several languages and worked as a model, influenced the Stones' look. ("I started to become a fashion icon for wearing my old lady's clothes," Richards quipped in his book Life.) And she refused to rearrange her life for the Stones. "No girls were allowed in the studio when they were recording," she said. "You weren't allowed even to ring. I did other things; I didn't sit at home." She maintained an acting career, notably in 1968's movie Barbarella and 1970's Performance - though her voice was dubbed out in the former: you wonder whether her "muse" tag meant casting directors underestimated her.

Suzi Ronson, a colour-loving hair wizard who brought David Bowie's tomato-red Ziggy Stardust coif to life, also took a different path from other women of her time. She left a steady job and went on the road, steering the Ziggy Stardust tour aesthetic by handling hair, makeup, and other tasks.

Me and Mr Jones illuminates her part in helping Bowie crystallise his vision - and shows how fame and rock stardom corrupt. On a Mott the Hoople tour, she seethes while Mick, cozying up to a baroness, orders Suzi to find his hairbrush, treating her like an assistant rather than a girlfriend. It wasn't the only time she was underestimated. "I'm now the pathetic girlfriend, clinging on to my man, a position I never thought I'd find myself in," she writes after joining Mick on tour with Bob Dylan for a few days, after not being invited. "I try to be understanding, but truthfully I'm infuriated at being left out."

These new works also highlight how each woman, at a time when women struggled to "have it all", cultivated agency through one of the only paths open to them: motherhood. Rather than being something limiting, becoming mothers allowed them to reinvent their lives. Suzi Ronson, long out of Bowie's orbit and living in England with her parents after giving birth, reflects that "the life I created for myself has disappeared, and my career with it," she writes, but her daughter brings joy and solace - and encourages her to stay optimistic and keep striving for a unique path. "As I push her around the same streets my mother used to push me, I swear to her: this isn't going to be it, and I pray I'm right." Ronson closes the loop by noting that she and Mick return to the US, living in the singer Maria Muldaur's house and finding equilibrium.

Ono confronted motherhood's messiness. Her installation My Mommy Was Beautiful used photos of breasts and vaginas to demystify birth and celebrate the strength of the body, and the 1969 song Don't Worry Kyoko (Mummy's Only Looking for a Hand in the Snow) - which Yoko wrote for her young daughter Kyoko - conveys primal agony and frustration. "Society's myth is that all women are supposed to love having children," Ono said in 1981. "But that was a myth. So there was Kyoko, and I did become attached to her and had great love for her, but at the same time, I was still struggling to get my own space in the world. I felt that if l didn't have room for myself, how could I give room to another human being?"

Pallenberg also navigates this conundrum. Jake Weber, the actor son of notorious Stones associate Tommy Weber, becomes visibly emotional when talking about how "generous and funny" Pallenberg was to him after his mother died in 1971, during the Stones' debauched French summer. "She filled a vacuum of a surrogate parent," he said. "She was lovely like that. Her thing was trying to give us joy." Catching Fire also visits the agonising fallout of the sudden June 1976 death of Pallenberg's 10-week-old son Tara.

Pallenberg has the last word in Catching Fire, and her conclusion illustrates the importance of women directing their own narratives. "Writing this has helped me emerge in my own eyes," she noted. "Reading over what I've written, I get a lump in my throat. But it doesn't need to be a doom and gloom kind of story." The film makes it clear that Pallenberg's chief power was, ultimately, resilience, which she needed during an often-challenging life (she lived with various addictions, including to heroin and alcohol) and several tragic events, such as when a 17-year-old shot and killed himself in Richards' bed.

"I felt like some nasty person who caused death and destruction around her," Pallenberg said after the 1979 incident, but Catching Fire refuses to let Pallenberg become a tragic figure or cautionary tale. The film ends noting that she got sober, graduated from college, and aged with iconoclastic gusto. The lessons are clear - redemption is possible and we are not our worst moments - while also reinforcing what we miss when women's voices are silenced or ignored.